Lifeless Like A Corpse

It seems that lately my mind has been stuck in some sort of rut. I haven’t had any new insights, or even felt like Ive grown or changed in any way the past month…. The lack of inspiration has caused a lack of thoughts and ideas for writing in my journal. I feel like I have been coasting through this past month on autopilot. Stuck in a mundane routine that is draining the very life-force out of me. I like things being simple, and leading a fairly simple life. Too much complexity would just cause stress and unhappiness in life but it seems that the opposite is true as well. It seems that life has been too simple this past month… So simple that I feel dead. Reluctant to get out of bed and once I am out of bed I dont want to move or do anything. If I didnt know any better I would say that these were symptoms of depression. No… the lack of motivation has seemingly spread. Infecting me like a virus turning the many quiet hours where I sit at home and wait for fellowship from my wife into a poison. a poison that is eating my morale and consuming my energy.

In light of all these things it appears the natural course of life is about to change all that. My non-existent life is being rolled up into a ball and tossed into the flames. I am going from nothing to having a full-time schedule, filled with work and studying of things that make absolutely no sense to me. The mundane routine that has been the center of this void is about to be disfigured and rearranged to create a pattern of change and filled schedules. I pray that this drastic change wont take a toll on me. That this disruption in my current pattern will not be too complex to where life is not enjoyable.

“blank”

///Clay///

Christian Love

Love. The Core of a Christians life. A word that has lost its meaning in the modern world. What makes Christian love different from the rest of the world? The only one who can give the perfect answer would be Christ Himself. For we all are human; filled with error and sin. How many times do Christians abandon Christian LOVE? Too often we mold the Christian life to our design, which ultimately disgraces God. We cant reflect God without showing the love of Christ- THE CHRISTIAN LOVE. I want to look at Love from the view of Jesus.

How can you learn about the Core of a Christian life? The best place to start would be 1 Corinthians 13, aka the Love Chapter. Look at what Love IS. It is patient, kind, protecting, trusting, hoping, preserving, it always rejoices in truth, and it does not keep record of wrong doing. How many people in the world ALWAYS follow at least half of these? The answer is no one. There might be a time where you are following every single one, but how long is it till you slip? Lets break down each one.

Patient

“Patience is a virtue”, the phrase everyone hears growing up. The definition of patience is the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble or suffering without getting angry or upset. The key here is to tolerate without getting angry. People believe because they can compose themselves on the outside (while feeling irritated or angry on the inside) and tolerate someone or something, they are demonstrating patience. Wrong!!! To truly be patient you have to stay composed on the inside as well as the outside. When we are not being patient we tend to break a couple of the other ones. We stop being kind, we attack instead of protect, and we seem to remember all of their other faults right about now. In our lack of patience we tend to be rude and talk down to one another. I know a family, that will go unmentioned, that talks to each other in a belittling and degrading way. The parents and children all disrespect each other, talking as if the other were a stupid and pathetic person. I hate being around them when this is happening but what am I to say? Would they listen or even believe me?

If we can truly regard ourselves as humble servants and that we are to uplift others, then maybe we will be able to be patient in love. Look at how a young girl going through puberty treats a jock she is completely  infatuated with, especially if he is a jerk. She constantly put herself aside and ignore the short comings of this jerk. Why? Because she holds him up on a pedestal (for the wrong reasons). Now obviously she is making a mistake but if the Christian could take the principle behind this and put everyone else above themselves then we would be like Christ.

Kind

Love is kind. The definition of kind is, having or showing a tender and considerate and helpful nature. To be kind is to be careful not to inconvenience or hurt others. Here we can see clearly the Core problem that keeps us from showing love, and that is Selfishness. Selfishness is what our human nature is built off of. The fall of man was caused by the greed to know all things like God. Greed is just another word for selfishness. Self is what causes sin, and prohibits love. How often are we actually concerned about what inconveniences another person? If we are full heartily seeking God then we should want to help others. Too many times we make self-righteous judgments and look down on one other. This gives us the “I am better than you” complex, leading us to treat people rudely instead of with kindness and compassion. In order to truly be kind in the Christian love, you must extend it to the people outside of your social group. Even the sinners love those who love them. Jesus talks about this in Matthew 5.

Protecting/Preserving

To protect/preserve is to keep safe from harm or injury. It is obvious how you apply this to your close friends and family, but how do you show it to the world? The kingdom of Heaven is available to the whole world if they accept Christ as their Lord and Savior. It is our job to bring the Word of God to the world so that they may be saved. the Word of God is their only defense against sin. Without Christ as their “lawyer” before the Judge, they are doomed to eternal damnation. In exhibiting Christian Love we should have the desire to protect them from their chosen destination. Once again in our self-righteous judgment we see them unworthy of Gods gift. How dare we condemn the blind to walk off the cliff. Shall we call ourselves murderers? Let us extend our hands out to the lost; show them the door Jesus is knocking on. If they refuse then they have made their decision, but should we stop praying for them? Never! Let us preserve the Word of God in our hearts so the we may be mirrors reflecting the light of Christ.

Trusting/Hoping

To trust is to believe in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something. Trust and hope are apart of faith. It means believing the best of it all. When we pray to God and it feels like there was no answer to our prayer we are to trust that he knows whats best. We need to let Him do His will and just have faith. No matter the circumstance we should have a positive outlook and know that all things happen for a reason and hope for the best. When we look out at the world the same still applies. This doesnt mean believe every little lie that is told to you because you are to assume the best. Rather, take each person and situation and look at it from the most positive perspective. Someone treats you like garbage- Should you judge this person as rude? No you should believe that they must of had a bad day and you happened to be there to see it. We shouldnt judge based on things we think or see, but only on those things that we know are facts.

It always rejoices in truth/ It does not keep record of wrong

These two are self explanatory… Yet we tend to get mad at truth when it is correcting us, like the pharisees being corrected by Jesus. Here is where pride comes into play.  Having pride is being pleased with yourself, dwelling on your achievements, thinking about you, you, you, you… And we are right back at selfishness. It is truly our self-seeking ways that keep us from unconditional love.

We also tend to keep a detailed record book, for each individual person we know, that is kept in the bitterness file cabinet. When someone does something that makes us angry and we hold on to it, that becomes bitterness. The Bible says not to let the sun go down while we are still angry. If we hold on to it we are making a record of it and we file it away in bitterness. The cabinet needs to be locked up and the key needs to be thrown away. There is nothing in that cabinet except self-gratification. Theres that word again, SELF.

Self has got to GO

The Bible talks about in Romans 14 that we should be able make adjustments about our life not because its sinful but for the love and respect of our brothers. This can never be achieved if we put ourselves at the center. It was true when they said the nice guy finishes last. To live like Christ we must put ourselves last. Oh how beautiful it would be if all Christians lived fully devoted to God, with self placed on the shelf.

“Love’s Achilles Heel is Selfishness”

///Clay///

Donuts- A Gift From God

Last Sunday I got out of bed 20 minutes before I was supposed to be at Church. I threw myself together and hit the door. On the drive there my stomach began to complain about the lack of attention it got. I  thought to myself oh this was a bad idea, I should of grabbed a banana or something!! We arrive one minute before Sunday School is scheduled to start(not that it ever starts on time). As we sit in the classroom I begin to pray quietly, “Lord, please don’t let this hunger distract me from you today”. Just as I finish praying the Assistant Pastor from another class walks into the room with a box of donuts and says, “Anybody want some donuts? We had one box too many”.

Now the Lord gave me something to eat to calm my stomach and let me listen to the message. I asked and recieved in the name of Jesus, but look at that a little more closely! I didn’t pray a selfish prayer, I didnt even asked to be fed. Instead I asked that He wont let me be distracted. My prayer wasn’t about me but rather about respect for God’s Word. I wanted to be able to recieve his Word.  My heart was right when I made the prayer and He rewarded me with His blessing (which happen to be donuts). This should be applied to every prayer that we make. Our heart should be seeking Him, not some personal hidden agenda, or self gain.

“Prayer Works”

///Clay///

To Live Like Jesus

I find that if your not constantly thinking about Christ throughout the day, it is very easy to sin. Recently my mind has been ever focused on the things of God and I notice a lot of things that I have to watch out for.

>It starts with your mood when you wake up in the morning, immediately you must consider how your mood is going to affect your decisions, so I start by singing a song to God or by praying.(Lately that song has been Hands And Feet, by Audio Adrenaline) Proverbs 16:32 Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city.

>You constantly have to keep watch on what thoughts flood your mind. Which also means you need to control what you allow yourself to hear and see. Mostly music and television… I find the best cure is not to listen to any secular music or watch any tv. I do however have one show a week I watch and I love to go see movies. Also thoughts can contribute to actions, if you control your thoughts this should keep you from reaching in the “cookie jar”. Hebrews 4:12 For the Word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.

> Being selfish is a big one! Interaction with the people around you can cause selfishness. You should always be there with love and respect to those around you, even your enemies. Love is a big part of this. The definition of the phrase “for love” for pleasure not profit. If you focus on the fact that you love “insert person here”, whether they are your friend or not it should please you to do things for them. It pleases me to make you happy because I love you. Philipians 2:3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.

> Pride… It is hard to keep yourself in a position of humility. It is a good practice to constantly remind yourself that you are here as a servant of the Lord, Ambassadors from Heaven. We are here to promote all things Holy. Pride also keeps others from helping you when you make mistakes and need correction. Proverbs 10:17 He who heeds discipline shows the way to life, but whoever ignores correction leads other astray.

>In the constant flow of life it is easy to forget to pray. Prayer is essential to our relationship with God. Instead of thinking things to yourself through the day direct those thoughts to God, which by proxy will help control thoughts you shouldn’t have. This action keeps you in constant contact with God helping you develop righteous habits. I Thessalonians 5:16 Be joyful; pray continually

> What you condone. If those that are close to you tell you things not of God and you don’t do anything about it, you are in a sense condoning their actions against God. Titus 2:1 You must teach what is in accord with sound doctrine.

“Taking up the cross daily”

///Clay///

Fellowship Of The Narrow Path

Just the other day I had asked a friend how was his life with God, and replied that it wasn’t where it should be. He told me that he tries to straighten up, but cant stay focused and ends right back where he was. This is the simile he used; “Its like having your car stuck in a hole, You gain momentum and start getting out then it just starts to slide right back in”. I heard this and had to think about it. MY RESPONSE- What do you do when your car gets stuck in a ditch? You call a tow truck to pull you out!

I told him that I as a fellow believer could be his “tow truck”; the friend who is there to help make sure you don’t fall. Every time there is a struggle you turn to your brother until you regain your footing. You see this is my perception of what a church is. A group of people who all make mistakes, who are all there to help keep each other right in God’s eyes.  A church can’t reach out to the lost until they have reached to all of their own first. Once all of the Church becomes a community, they can begin to work together to fulfill God’s purpose. One little candle isn’t enough to light a whole house, but if you get 5 or 6 working together the house WILL be lit.

“one little candle”

///Clay///

Synthetic Composure

I finally have been ///plugged-in/// I have a computer again. After much consideration I felt a Macbook was the best decision. Its been very productive as well, because it has given me a musical outlet. I now have found a way for me to make a complete song, 12 in fact. Its not what I expected to do with music but I actually like the result. I never was good with the “band thing” anyway. I just find it hard to work well with others. If I really want to accomplish something its best for me to do it alone. Anyway its techno/electro/composition.  My music name is Bolted Redemption, and the album is called 1,000 Miles To Home. Any of my friends who want a copy can have one. Here is the discography-

Bolted Redemption

1,000 Miles To Home

1.Wrong Directions

2.Calm To Chaos

3.The Harrowing Path

4.The Price For Freedom

5.Power Nap

6.One Thousand Miles To Home

7. A World Of Dim Lights And Dream Filled Nights

8.Sky Voyage

9.Open Eyes For The First Time

10.Virtual Domain 

11.Twenty ‘O’ Eight

12.Nobody Likes Goodbye’s

 

 

“I’m a composer”

///Clay///

Musical Inspiration ///Rock’n'Roll///

I’ve started playing guitar again. My hand is relearning the chords quite well, and it feels nice to be able to do something I enjoy again. In fact I wrote a song inspired by the title of one of my blogs- “2008 Is To Me Like Rain Is To A Fresh Painting”. It came out sounding kind ///happy-punk/// and I really like it. Maybe the record companies will like it too =). Just Kidding…

“I write songs”

///Clay///

Welcome to the Family

Kathryn and I recently made the decision to join a church in the Pasadena area. The church name is Parkgate, and is on Preston. Its funny before we tried that church I always had this weird need to take Preston to get to Spencer or anything else on that side of town. Then Kathryn happened to make a new friend at her temporary job she had and finds out that she attends Parkgate. Of course this new friend invites us to go, and of course we accept the invitation. We get there and I could really feel something I hadn’t felt in forever, though I can’t describe it. The people were also very friendly and make you feel right at home. I feel that this is the direction God is pulling me in so I will follow.

“Home sweet home”

///Clay///